History about us

Ok la all


Skrg sejarah time. Panjang skit ni. Hope u all tak boring....

Abt me? Cerai hidup pastu skrg ni cerai mati, dua2 dh lalu. Cerai hidup, malas nk cerita. Cerai hidup, pedih sakit hati semua ada la. Cerai mati, rindu bayangan sakit jiwa. Betul2 menguji kesabaran me. But looking at my girls, i hv to move on. At the moment, i miss my eldest girl, si long john (LJ). U all c the pic u know y i called her long john. She is only 9 and nearly the same height as my babysitter. She is staying wit he father. Long story. Malas nk ingat. Sejarah yg amat perit.



Now i move on my life wit my 2 other girls, si kurus (K) and si tembam (T). K totally ayahanda's grils. Since i gv birth to T, she sleep, eat & everything wit ayahanda. Dlm pala K, ayahanda dlm ICU, sakit, doc blom kasi balik. Well for T, only a lil bit of memories. Ye la baru setahun jagung. Now i m facing them alone, scared sometimes but have to be tough. Macam2 perangai. Aduih!!!!! Penin ibunda.... but they all my precious assets..(betul ke ayat tuh...) or gems... Well wat ever it is, they 3 r my love of my life.

Problem to handle? Nangis tgh2 malam bkn org tau pun. U all asking abt adik beradik? Ermmm...masing2 ada prob kehidupan masing2. So life just move on. Maybe out there, many people more teruk than me. Slalu watch 'Bersamamu TV3' sedih woooo...


Me, alhamdulillah. Peninggalan arwah ada skit yg tak tahu bila me nk dpt, dgn duit socso skit dan gaji yg cukup makan....alhamdulillah....syukur sgt2. Masih bleh baya duit hutang. Masih bleh beli mcm2 utk anak2.


Skrg ku perkenalkan arwah........Tis pic was taken on the 1st day dia masuk hospital Damai Melawati. B4 that dh seminggu ayahanda sakit. Tu pun dh sakit sgt2 la tu. Ayahanda ask me to sent him to hospital the day before. Maybe terasa teruk sgt dah kot. Me tgk pun takut tp tak berani nk ckp apa pun coz dia mmg dh warn me jgn sebut pasal hospital. But dlm sakit2 seminggu he still take care of my K. Sedih bila ingatkan tu.

Back to ayahanda, monday 27 apr 09, admitted to Damai Melawati. Doc yg treat him Dr Magala said kena heart attack. The week b4 he is so sick until cant pee, sweat alot, very heaty, drink a lot of water but still no urine. Then doc said it was the kidney prob. Mmmmm... Sabar je la aku. So that day me jaga dia. Betul2 lemah but mulut tak berhenti bercakap. Byk cakap betul. Me think masa tu dia dh takut sgt kot. Me control cantik la. Dlm hati Allah saje yg tau. So doc said under observation for one nite. Me went back that nite kul 9 lebih. Dia pun kata letih sgt nk tido. Doc bg ubat tido sbb suh dia rehat.

So the next day tu, i went there dgn bekal nasi kerabu for my bfast. Ayahanda pun makan gak. Tgahri dia laju je nk makan. Rutin ayahanda, lepas makan sure g toilet but nurse tak kasi. Kencing pun kat katil. 1st time me jaga org sakit but me puashati. Buat yg tersayang. Dia la yg ajar me to always think +vely. Apa pun dia buat me terima seadanya. Puashati me. Alah lagi pun me pun tak perfect kan. No human being is perfect. So terima seadanya..(mcm pernah ku dgr ayat ini..dimana ya...)

Then tghari doc dtg, he still with the same condition. Pastu dia tak duk diam then dia kena heart attack lagi. So doc bincang dgn me. He has to c a specialist immediately but bcoz of his heart condition and failure of his kidney, he has to go to ampang puteri or gleneagle hospital. Aduihhh!!!!!Tempat mahal2 lak tu but since it is for my lovely hubby n co cover hospitalisation, ampang puteri here we come.

Petang tu gak lepas sampai kat amp puteri, Dr Dato Ahmad Mustazam (ingat nama tu sampai skrg) check on him and told me he has to do shooting balloon 2 c whether ayahanda's heart block ke tak...Well doc, do wat ever u have to do la. Ayahanda asyik panggil aku je. Tak bleh jauh skit. Me bangga....really very proud coz he really needs me.

Me duk jauh bukan apa. Ramai sgt doc dgn nurse tgh merawat dia. After the shooting, doc tunjuk me the result. Block keras mcm batu. Cant do the shooting. So Dr Samani, a heart surgeon, told me that he needs to do bypass but cant transfer to IJN coz kidney prob. If go IJN kena queue for heart surgery n then bcoz of his kidney pron, they will sent him to GH for dialysis. So how? Penin2. Air mata mencurah2. Who is there for me? None of the famili. Dr Samani said ayahanda's co insurance ING only cover RM20k only but the cost was estimated at RM50k-60k, Air mata laju tuh keluar mencurah2.

Uit!!!! Tak bleh2...Doc pujuk to call famili bincang abt this. Then immediately dgn airmata yg laju tu i called ayahanda's bos. Bos said 'u sabar dulu.. i called HR' but u know guys, its 6pm. Org semua dh balik. But bos said 'rest assured that we can do the max coverage'. Aduh....lega skit. Then call ayahanda's bro kt Tganu. He said do 1st. Later cari duit. Lega skit. Call mama....Ma......me broke down lagi.

Okeh, me nk g jumpa ayahanda. He is too tired already but still duk struggle nk balik. Nurse kena ikat kaki tangan dia. Cakap pun dh tak betul. Mcm mumbling je. Doc said it is bcoz dia struggling nk keluar, badan pun dh tak betul. Result darah pun dh keluar. Toooooooo high toxic in his blood. Triple beb...aduh...Terhenti sekejap darah me. Me! Control...Ayahanda tgh tgk tuh. Lelama kat situ me keluar tunggu adik2 dtg. Me tak tahan tgk dia baring kat situ struggling nk keluar.Maki hamun semua org. N at that time pun dialysis dh start but 8 hours. Normal is 3-4 hrs but ayahanda punye 8 hrs. Tak faham sgt doc ckp. I think abt toxic tu la. Dr Samani jumpa me n said that surgery postphoned coz of toxication in his blood. Aduih....He said ayahanda stabil buat masa ni. Me balik mlm tu kul 9 kot. Tak ingat but the one week kat spital tu me balik umah amik anak2 dlm time tu la. Tak nak la lambat sgt nti apa kata babysitter plak. B4 balik me make sure me jumpa ayahanda. Cium dia, ckp me nk balik dulu.

29 Apr 2009. The next day me pegi pepagi. Tunggu kat luar ICU tu. Then nurse panggil. She said Dr Phillip panggil. He is a very good doc. Dia la yg update me tiap2 hari masa kat sana. Everything. Today, berita buruk lagi. Now ayahanda punye hati plak rosak. So he said when 3 main organ rosak (which for ayahanda - heart, kidney & now liver) hope for the patient is low. Adussss...tertusuk sembilu kat dada. Airmata ni gugur selaju2nya. He said they r doing the best they can n a liver specialist is called 2 c ayahanda's condition. N for his kidney they have to change from 8 hrs to 24 hrs dialysis due to his blood pressure yg tak tentu. Call mama...airmata...nape la tak bleh stop running down. Called everybody yang terlintas kat pala. Just to update them n calls keep on coming in on my hp n ayahanda's hp. Colleague, sedara mara n mek (ayahanda's mother). Makan...tak lalu...minum..skit2 je la. That day berlalu mcm tu je.....as usual me masuk tgk2 gak ayahanda. Mumbling...tak sanggup me nk tgk dia...me duk luar je...tau ayahanda marah...then that nite b4 balik me cium dia.

30 Apr 2009. Me sampai ICU lambat. Bila dpt masuk je tanya nurse, Dr Phillip dh sampai blom? Nurse kata dh tp me takde. Aduh...ralat nye...ye la dgn anak2 kan..then me pegi cari but doc buat rounding. Nvm la, me tunggu. Me tgk ayahanda....Waaaaa...terkejut. Doc lain plak tgh check. Me terkejut beruk tuh...Doc kata dia terpaksa tido kan ayahanda coz he is toooooo tired already. So ayahanda on ventilation (betul ke perkataan ni) iaitu bernafas pakai mesin. Doc rehatkan dia. Biar badan dia betul2 rehat n the medication dpt masuk dlm badan dia tanpa rejection. Mmmm...nurse pandang me semacam. Apahal ni...Mana la Dr Philip ni..me tunggu kat bilik dia sampai kul 11..

More bad news...no hope...he said if he gv hope kalu tak jadi gak me akan blame spital la kan. Tu memang la kan. So he said they r doing the best he can. Mmmmm...cam biasa ramai gak org dtg... Friends from office pun dtg. My office n his. Hari tu berlalu camtu je...malam b4 balik me cium ayahanda

1 May 2009... Jumaat.. Cuti labour day...Ramai sampai. Mama, mek, semua la. That morning doc ckp 1 more bad news. His lung is not absorbing the oxigen tru mesin tu. Adusss...skali lagi aku kena tikam. Me control air mata... ramai org ni...relaks2...tp sampai depan mama...air mata jatuh gitu je...

2 May 2009 Saturday...Aku tak htr anak ke rumah babysitter coz dia mintak cuti dh lama. Nk balik kg. ok la....Famili acik tlg jaga anak2 aku...Babysitter janji balik senin...ok la..takpe..she is the best. Bkn slalu dia mintak cuti.
Ayahanda camtu gak...takde perubahan...

3 May 2009 Sunday...Mcm biasa aku dtg pepagi. Jumpa Dr Philip. The same answer. He cudnt gv hope. Well me...u have ready for this right...i comfort myself...My bff pun ada dtg ptg tu. Tq ila. Tq vry much...She n i went in to c ayahanda. We were there abt half hour. Masa tu kul 3 pm. Tetiba me saw the nurse tgh lap darah keluar dr mulut dgn hidung ayahanda. Me tanya wat happen? She explain a bit la. So me ingat takde apa2 Diam je la. Ptg tu acik bwk anak2. K dibwk masuk by my niece, jaja. Tq jaja. My K rindu sgt dgn ayahanda but tak nk pegi dekat. She saw him but doesnt dare to look. She grab me very tightly n that nite K & T tak nk berenggang dgn aku. Last aku dgn mek kat ICU tgk ayahanda, Dr Mustazam dtg ckp kat mek yg ayahanda condition is now very2 bad. Only hope for a miracle. My kids, tu la petanda nye yg ayahanda akan meninggal kan kami. Me went back that nite dgn perasaan yg bercampur2.

4 May 2009 Monday...Early morning abg ipar called n told me nurse suruh pegi skrg gak. Dont know y. Me pun mandi skit pakai baju, pecut pegi. Jem skit jalan MRR2, tau je la monday morning kan. Me pecut kul 6.45am. Sampai sana kul 7.15am. Masuk ICU, wayar2 pada badan ayahanda takde dah. Me ask the nurse. OMG..........ayahanda dh takde....baru kejap. Nape ayahanda tak tunggu aku...Nurse kata dh call aku tp tak dpt
dpt msg je. Aku check no tu, hampeh korang. Salin semula sr kertas ke kertas, no hp aku dh jadi salah. Benci!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aku pun peluk ayahanda yg kaku kat situ....

Dlm kesedaran yg ada aku arrange everything myself. Alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar..... I love u so much ayahanda....!!!!!!!!!!!!